The Butlin’s Survival Guide
1. It takes you nearly a day to get to it (if you’re not local).
It’s in Skegness…so not the most local gig in the world, but it’s the banding equivalent of going to Disneyland…sort of.
2. How it looks in the day and how it looks at night is completely different.
Do not let your first impression of the site put you off, it’s a completely different place at night. Whether it’s the darkness or the booze that makes it so, I’m not sure…
3. Getting less than 8 hours sleep.
Rolling into bed in the early hours (despite being told by the MD to be in bed for a decent time) and having to be up at 6AM for rehearsal= instant regret…if you’re not still tipsy.
Not that I’ve ever done that. Total professionalism at all times…
4. It’s One Big Sleepover.
Sharing a chalet with your bandmates is kinda like sleepovers when you were at school. Someone won’t stop talking when you’re trying to sleep. There’s clothes, snacks and various other crap everywhere. Selfies. Drinking when you know you shouldn’t be…
5. Jak’s.
There’s no place like Jak’s. It’s legendary. If you’ve never been, you’re missing out. With permanently sticky floors and 80s bangers blasting until the early hours, it’s the ultimate party destination…if you’re already drunk. I’ve yet to experience it sober…I dread to think.
6. Making it back to your own Chalet.
If you manage to make it back to your own bed, without ending up under a bush, falling asleep in the toilets or getting lost on the massive site (easy to do when you’ve had a few), well done! Believe me it’s a massive acheivement.
7. What happens at Butlin’s, stays at Butlin’s.
After you’ve experienced the Butlin’s contest for the first time, this will make sense…it’s an experience.
8. Living like a uni student.
If you don’t want to spend all your money in the onsite food facilities, you’ll be living on pot noodles, oven pizzas and toast.
9. No one gives a monkey’s about the weather.
It’s in January and it’s on the coast, so it’s like -400 degrees, usually either wet or icy and the wind is so sharp it requires a tuning slide, so you would think everyone would be out in fluffy jumpers and winter coats…Nope! You will see people braving it in short sleeve dresses, t-shirts and high heels without a care in the world!
10. Results
Butlin’s arguably has the best results ceremony of any contest because:
A: the results are in the evening, so you’re already in the party spirit (and drunk some of the party spirit) and dressed in your gladrags before you get the results.
B: The results are announced IN A BAR!- Beltin!
C: If you win or come in the prizes, the celebrating that ensues is second to none, believe me. And if you don’t win or come in the prizes…you party like you’ve won anyway!
Best of luck to those heading down to Skegvegas! Play your best, enjoy yourselves and have a pint for me!
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