• Liv Appleton

Lady Blowhorn's Banding Papers

What do a hot duke, balls and a gossip column all have in common?


Netflix's new hit show, 'Bridgerton' obviously!


If you haven't watched it yet, 'Bridgerton' follows a debutante called Daphne, who manages to marry a Duke within her first social season.


It's all very romantic and rather saucy, but I was more interested in the subplot surrounding a gossip columnist called Lady Whistledown who anonymously publishes the current gossip and scandals in her society papers.


Now I know and you know that the banding world loves gossip and scandal.


From poaching players to facebook squabbling and romantic affairs - it's better than any novel you'll ever read!


You know where this is going.


Obviously, there isn't an awful lot going on at the moment, but what if we treated the contest season like a social season...and we had a society paper documenting banding scandal?


Move over Lady Whistledown, these are Lady Blowhorn's Banding Papers!






Here we find ourselves in yet another contest season.


A flock of blushing bands are ready to take to the floor to find out who will be at the top of the tree and who will be shunned from the limelight. Of course, each season brings its drama and it is my duty to you, dear reader, to ensure you never miss a second of these events.


There has been a prominent sacking in the upper echelons of the banding world. We know, dear reader, that our kind can be fickle, but to be discarded at the beginning of the season could have its re-percussions (pardon my pun). However, even damaged goods still have a chance to be picked up by a willing ensemble.


In other news, a player's heart has been stolen by a band of higher rank. As you can imagine, their previous suitor is furious and is claiming that their player's affections were taken by force, as a rabbit is poached from a rich landlord's woodland. However, both you and I know, gentle reader, that 'poaching' is a term used by the disgruntled party to save face when in reality the new suitor simply had more to offer the player in question. The moral here? Keep your player satisfied and their gaze shall not wander.


Finally, shameful comments have been passed around social circles. This correspondence has condemned players for asking advice on a sheet music writing resource due to it being 'not relevant' in brass band social circles. They have gone on to suggest the player should ask for advice from social circles that are dedicated to this particular resource. Of course, we can laugh at this utter madness, as it is common knowledge that many of our community have the required knowledge and aren't afraid to impart it to a fellow member of our society. However, we have more class than to simply mock the people passing on this shameful condemnation. You can rely on me, beloved reader, to out these naive souls, in the hope that they will learn a valuable lesson. One does not unnecessarily chastise a bander!


Yours truly,




High Banding Society


Not that I am condoning banding gossip, but I think it would be fun to write a fictional banding society paper by Lady Blowhorn - obviously with stories that are completely fake or elaborated completely out of proportion!


What do you reckon, should Lady Blowhorn stay?


Let me know what you think!




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